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DM 005 Newsletter
DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 11/23/2021    Duedate: 12/06/2021

SACRED (-DARK) HEART ARENA

DM-5    TURN-947

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES
MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)
(5-5997) [14-8-2,153]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES             MOUSER
MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)           DEN OF THIEVES (210)
(5-5997) [14-8-2,153]          (5-5843) [5-1-0,75]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

QUARTERED MASTER               MOUSER
DUNGEON CELL (553)             DEN OF THIEVES (210)
(5-6014) [14-8-0,68]           (5-5843) [5-1-0,75]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DOOM (601)                  62
2. ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)        51      DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)
3. MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)        42      Unchartered Team
4. TURKEY DAY CARNAGE (608)    15
5. DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)     12      TURKEY DAY CARNAGE (608)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)   82  33  3 71.3   1/ 2 ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)     11  4 1
 2/ 2 ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)      70  39  3 64.2   2/ 6 DOOM (601)               10  5 0
 3/ 0*TURKEY DAY CARNAGE (608)   3   2  0 60.0   3/ 3 KOSMIC KAOS (597)         9  6 0
 4/ 3 YUPPIE AF (594)           71  56  1 55.9   4/ 1 ONCE UPON A TIME (598)    9  6 0
 5/ 4 KOSMIC KAOS (597)         57  53  4 51.8   5/ 9 MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)      7  5 1
 6/ 5 DUNGEON CELL (553)       229 225 17 50.4   6/ 4 YUPPIE AF (594)           7  8 0
 7/ 6 ONCE UPON A TIME (598)    57  59  0 49.1   7/ 5 DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)   7  8 0
 8/ 8 MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)      51  55  3 48.1   8/11*DEN OF THIEVES (210)      4  1 1
 9/ 7*DEN OF THIEVES (210)       8   9  1 47.1   9/ 8 DUNGEON CELL (553)        4 11 0
10/ 9 DOOM (601)                62  73  5 45.9  10/10 AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)   4 11 0
11/10 AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)   43  67  2 39.1  11- 7 KNIGHT LIFE (612)         2  2 0
12-11 KNIGHT LIFE (612)         18  44  1 29.0  12/ 0*TURKEY DAY CARNAGE (608)  1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

King of the Kaltos Kaos [Round Twenty-One]

Manager / Team                      / W / L / K / BF / DA / Spot / P-ads / Fights 
                                    / Total Points

#1 Dr Cox / Dr Cox JD Names 7       / 78 / 27 / 3 / 0 / 1 / Yes / 20 / 105 
                                    / 390 + 9 + 0 + 25 + 20 = 444 points

#2 Boy Wonder / Yuppie AF           / 62 / 41 / 1 / 1 / 5 / Yes / 14 / 103 
                                    / 310 + 3 + 2 + 25 + 14 = 354 points

#3 Khisanth / Zombie Squad 2        / 65 / 39 / 2 / 1 / 12 / No / 13 / 104 
                                    / 325 + 6 + 2 + 0 + 13 = 346 points

#4 Dameon Darkheart / Kosmic Kaos   / 54 / 51 / 4 / 0 / 0 / Yes / 10 / 105 
                                    / 270 + 12 + 0 + 25 + 10 = 317 points

#5 One Armed Bandit / Dungeon Cell  / 53 / 52 / 2 / 0 / 0 / Yes / 21 / 105 
                                    / 265 + 6 + 0 + 25 + 21 = 317 points

#6 Smithers / Once Upon A Time      / 52 / 53 / 0 / 1 / 0 / Yes / 20 / 105 
                                    / 260 + 0 + 2 + 25 + 20 = 307 points

#7 Doom Slayer / Doom               / 45 / 59 / 5 / 1 / 5 / Yes / 19 / 105 
                                    / 225 + 15 + 2 + 25 + 19 = 286 points

#8 Street Legal / My Best Buds 3    / 47 / 55 / 3 / 0 / 0 / Yes / 14 / 102 
                                    / 235 + 9 + 0 + 25 + 14 = 283 points

#9 Hammer / Aauurrgh 5 Blades       / 42 / 63/ 2 / 1 / 0 / Yes / 21 / 105 
                                    / 210 + 6 + 2 + 25 + 21 = 264 points

#10 Drake / Remains                 / 39 / 31 / 1 / 0 / 2 / Yes / 12 / 70 
                                    / 195 + 3 + 0 + 25 + 12 = 235 points 

#11 Weirdo / Kutless Kowards        / 21 / 23 / 1 / 0 / 2 / Yes / 9 / 44 
                                    / 105 + 3 + 0 + 25 + 9 = 142 points 

#12 Eli / Renegades II              / 15 / 26 / 2 / 1 / 5 / Yes / 9 / 41 
                                    / 75 + 6 + 2 + 25 + 9 = 117 points

#13 Presstoe / Delarquan Dregs      / 12 / 13 / 0 / 0 / 0 / Yes / 2 / 25 
                                    / 60 + 0 + 0 + 25 + 2 = 87 points

#14 Toker / Individuals             / 10 / 19 / 1 / 2 / 0 / Yes / 2 / 30 
                                    / 50 + 3 + 4 + 25 + 2 = 84 points

#15 Wasby / Bronze Court            / 7 / 20 / 3 / 1 / 0 / No / 2 / 27 
                                    / 35 + 9 + 0 + 2 + 2 = 48 points

Top Ten Fighting Styles Leader Board for Round Twenty-One

Basher Contestants [3]
     First: Circle-K of Once Upon A Time [8-9-0, 57]    
     Second: Consortium Rival of Aauurrgh 5 Blades [6-11-0, 33] 

Slasher Contestants [6]
     First: Nova Nihilist of Kosmic Kaos 15-6-2, 91]
     Second: Umbral Uproar of Kosmic Kaos [12-9-1, 79]

Lunger Contestants [7]
     First: Black Lime of My Best Buds 3 [9-12-0, 84] 
     Second: Pulsar Panic of Kosmic Kaos [9-12-1, 82] 

Striker Contestants [5]
     First: Girl Scout Cookies of My Best Buds 3 [13-8-2, 140] current DM T-946
     Second: Scholarship of Once Upon A Time [14-7-0, 117]

Aimed Blow Contestants [5]
     First: Drudge of Zombie Squad 2 [14-7-0, 116] T-946 has received his Graduation 
       Notice and has Technically Won the Aimer Category / Will Be Declared the 
       Official Winner on T-947
     Second: Vile of Zombie Squad 2 [11-2-0, 82] 

Wall Of Steel Contestants [5]
     First: Dread Knight of Doom [13-8-0, 68]  
     Second: Late For The Party of Aauurrgh 5 Blades [8-10-0, 60]  

Total Parry Contestants [4]
     First: Terran Twist of Kosmic Kaos [10-11-0, 59] 
     Second: Puppet of Zombie Squad 2 [16-5-0, 53] 

Parry Lunger Contestants [2]
     First: Quartered Master of Dungeon Cell [14-7-0, 76]
     Second: Astral Anarchist of Kosmic Kaos [8-13-0, 67] 

Parry Striker Contestants [3]
     First: Arena Frustrator of Aauurrgh 5 Blades [9-7-1, 57] 
     Second: Maiden of Dungeon Cell [4-8-2, 22] 

Parry Riposte Official Winner
     Fiona of Dr Cox JD Names 7 graduated on T-946

*** Please Note that the number of contestants is listed in the brackets and only the 
Top 2 Contenders of each fighting style is listed above. The complete list may be 
found posted in Discord or the Duel 2 Forums   

Favorite & Least Favorite & Kills & Point Gainers for Round Twenty-One

Team with the Most 'This Week's Favorite Warrior' [9]
     Yuppie AF = 5
     Dungeon Cell = 4
     Remains = 4
     Zombie Squad 2 = 2
     Kosmic Kaos = 1
     My Best Buds 3 = 1
     Aauurrgh 5 Blades = 1
     Once Upon A Time = 1
     Doom = 1
     Circle-K of Once Upon A Time for T-945
     Pain Elemental of Doom for T-946

Team with the Most 'This Week's Least Favorite Warrior' [7]
     My Best Buds 3 = 7
     Zombie Squad 2 = 4
     Dr Cox JD Names 7 = 3
     Yuppie AF = 3
     Kosmic Kaos = 2
     Aauurrgh 5 Blades = 1
     Once Upon A Time = 1
     Puppet of Zombie Squad 2 for T-945
     Rainbow Beltz of My Best Buds 3 for T-946

Team with the Most Kills [13]
     Doom = 5
     Kosmic Kaos = 4
     My Best Buds 3 = 3
     Dr Cox JD Names 7 = 3
     The Bronze Court = 3
     Dungeon Cell = 2
     Aauurrgh 5 Blades = 2
     Zombie Squad 2 = 2
     Renegades II = 2
     Kutless Kowards = 1
     Individuals = 1
     Remains = 1
     Yuppie AF = 1
     Felicia of Dr Cox JD Names 7 killed Venomous Concubine on T-934 to capture the 
       FID Title
     NO KILLS on T-945
     Girl Scout Cookies of My Best Buds 3 killed Fiona of Dr Cox JD Names 7 on T-946 
       [but Fiona graduated and GSC became the new DM]

Top Point Gainer Team [15]
     First: Dr Cox JD Names 7 = 61 + 42 + 41 + 42 + 26 + 24 + 29 + 43 + 46 + 34 + 45 
                              = 433 points  
     Second: Zombie Squad 2 = 35 + 47 + 46 + 57 + 22 + 37 + 30 + 27 + 50 + 26 + 23 
                              + 21 = 421 points
     Third: Yuppie AF = 31 + 56 + 35 + 47 + 17 + 50 + 63 + 26 + 45 + 25 
                              = 395 points
     Fourth: Kosmic Kaos = 63 + 41 + 36 + 30 + 32 + 25 + 27 + 26 + 22 + 12 + 8 + 23 
                              + 29 = 374 points
     Fifth: Doom = 35 + 29 + 31 + 24 + 43 + 20 + 18 + 53 + 33 + 42 + 33 
                              = 361 points

T-946 POINT GAINS
     My Best Buds 3 = 53
     Once Upon A Time = 44
     Den Of Thieves = 40 [Not A Contest Team]
     Doom = 33
     Zombie Squad 2 = 21

*** Full Standings are posted in Discord and the Duel 2 Forums

Tie-Breaker Rules
     (1) Least Amount of Dark Arena Deaths
     (2) Most Team Kills
     (3) Highest Ranked Warrior According to the DM 5 / T-950 Recognition Rankings

                                      SPY REPORT

     It is I, Novgorodny Vir, Spymaster of Spymasters.  Look on my work, ye mighty, 
and despair!  The boys at ONCE UPON A TIME left the arena dejected, after being 
kicked out of the top spot by ZOMBIE SQUAD 2.  Good show!  KNIGHT LIFE after a sorry 
0-0-0 might want to consider abandoning the sands and taking up singing the 'Can't 
fight no more' blues!  Nothing works for a team like victory (How's that for a 
perceptive observation?) as DOOM can attest...  Say what you will about blind luck 
and dirty fighting, but MY BEST BUDS 3 will tell you 51-55-3 is nothing to laugh 
at...  DOOM had cause to celebrate, after PAIN ELEMENTAL got 22 points by beating 
LADY MANDALORIAN.  A certain someone should cut down on the drinking and practice 
more, after losing 16 points to DOOMSTICK.  (Discrete enough, CHIMERA?) NOVA NIHILIST 
found out that SACRED (-DARK) HEART isn't a democracy.  You've gotta be the best to 
be Duelmaster here!  Word has it one team in SACRED (-DARK) HEART is taking speech 
lessons to try to bore their opponent to death.  I'll bet it works.   
     My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter. 
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights!  Perhaps the warriors of ONCE UPON A 
TIME should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team...  Like a pup 
with its tail between its legs, DUNGEON CELL scurried away from ONCE UPON A TIME.  
Oh, the shame!  If challenges were horses, TERRAN TWIST could open up a fast food 
joint!  Them's the breaks, HELL KNIGHT.  Expecting fair challenges from ONCE UPON A 
TIME is evidently too much to ask.  Bookies and CHORUS were more than a little 
surprised, as HELL KNIGHT snatched an easy victory from CHORUS, gaining 23 points.  
ARENA FRUSTRATOR found himself challenged by a warrior 18 below:  HORRID.  HORRID of 
ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 kept its wits as it won victory over ARENA FRUSTRATOR.  Mismatched by 
15 points, AIR JORDAN was defeated by VILE.  Is this really worth noting?  I thought 
VILE showed great skill and promise when it bested AIR JORDAN.  All right, so I slept 
through it!  Big deal!   
     Is there life after death?  Pragmatics (and warriors) know there is death after 
life!  WALKER of ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 sends THUMBSCREW of DUNGEON CELL goes to the Weary 
Warrior's Retirement Home.  SACRED (-DARK) HEART has no place for weaklings!  Ask not 
a spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an 
unconscious stupor.   
     All good things must come to an end.  As the seasons change, and the creatures 
of the wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place.  SACRED (-DARK) 
HEART, I leave you now.  The Duelmaster has agreed to foot my bill at The Victory 
Tavern.  'Til next time-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 5997   ST 14   8  2   153       MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FANTASIA 6067             LU 19   4  1   102       DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)
 HELL KNIGHT 6079          LU 10  11  0   101       DOOM (601)
 SCHOLARSHIP 6077          ST 14   8  0   100       ONCE UPON A TIME (598)
 BLACK LIME 5995           LU 10  12  0    96       MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PICKPOCKET 5947           AB 17  22  0    90       DUNGEON CELL (553)
 UMBRAL UPROAR 6007        SL 13   9  1    87       KOSMIC KAOS (597)
 VILE 6169                 AB 12   2  0    87       ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)
 PULSAR PANIC 6003         LU 10  12  1    87       KOSMIC KAOS (597)
 NOVA NIHILIST 6068        SL 15   7  2    85       KOSMIC KAOS (597)
 ALPHA BLUE 5994           SL 13   9  1    81       MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)
 DOOM KNIGHT 6082          AB 12  10  1    80       DOOM (601)
 CHORUS 6013               SL 12  11  0    79       ONCE UPON A TIME (598)
 WALKER 6134               LU 14   7  2    76       ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)
 MOUSER 5843               TP  5   1  0    75       DEN OF THIEVES (210)
 ASTRAL ANARCHIST 6006     PL  9  13  0    69       KOSMIC KAOS (597)
 AIR JORDAN 6181           BA  8   4  1    69       YUPPIE AF (594)
 QUARTERED MASTER 6014     PL 14   8  0    68       DUNGEON CELL (553)
 LATE FOR THE PARTY 6147   WS  9  10  0    68       AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TERRAN TWIST 6004         TP 10  12  0    60       KOSMIC KAOS (597)
 DREAD KNIGHT 6083         WS 13   9  0    59       DOOM (601)
 FARRAH 6065               TP 12  11  0    59       DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)
 PUPPET 6120               TP 17   5  0    57       ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)
 THE NORTH FACE 6180       TP 10   2  0    57       YUPPIE AF (594)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SCAVENGER'S DAUGHTER 5999 AB 11  12  0    56       DUNGEON CELL (553)
 CIRCLE-K 6152             BA  8  10  0    56       ONCE UPON A TIME (598)
 HORRID 6191               TP  7   2  0    54       ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)                     *
 PAIN ELEMENTAL 6214       LU  3   3  0    54       DOOM (601)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BIO HACKER 6102           LU 12   9  0    51       YUPPIE AF (594)
 ARENA FRUSTRATOR 6161     PS  9   8  1    47       AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)
 DUPLICATE BRIDGE 6216     BA  3   2  0    47       ONCE UPON A TIME (598)                   *
 LADY MANDALORIAN 6090     PR  9  13  0    44       AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)
 RAINBOW BELTZ 5993        TP  7  15  0    39       MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)
 ARCH-VILE 6215            AB  5   1  0    39       DOOM (601)
-KEN DO 6200                   7   9  0    38       KNIGHT LIFE (612)                        [BA-SL-ST]
 THE BRUISED SHARK 6094    LU  7  15  1    37       AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)
 DOOMSTICK 6118            ST  3   2  0    35       TURKEY DAY CARNAGE (608)
 CONSORTIUM RIVAL 6154     BA  6  12  0    34       AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DONNA 6218                WS  2   1  0    26       DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)
-JACK THE RIPPER 1780      PS  1   2  0    26       DEN OF THIEVES (210)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAIDEN 6177               PS  4   9  2    23       DUNGEON CELL (553)
-CY LENT 6217                  2   0  0    23       KNIGHT LIFE (612)                        [BA-LU-WS]
-KIM POE 6213                  2   1  0    22       KNIGHT LIFE (612)                        [BA-LU]
 LIFEGUARD 6211            TP  4   2  0    21       ONCE UPON A TIME (598)                   *
-NEO 6208                  WS  2   2  0    21       KNIGHT LIFE (612)                        *
 DOGECOIN 6196             WS  5   4  0    19       YUPPIE AF (594)                          *
 CHIMERA 6195              ST  4   5  0    17       YUPPIE AF (594)                          *
-LOCKE 5841                    1   0  0    13       DEN OF THIEVES (210)                     ???
 FELICITY 6220                 1   0  0     7       DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)                  [AB-TP]
-TY CHI 6212               PR  1   2  1     6       KNIGHT LIFE (612)                        *
 FRANCINE 6219             LU  0   2  0     2       DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
TASSELHOFF 5842         1  1 1 DEN OF THIEVES 210   MOUNTAIN TROLL        947  NONE
THUMBSCREW 6000        10 12 0 DUNGEON CELL 553     WALKER 6134           947   
GRAND DADDY PURP 5996   7 11 0 MY BEST BUDS 3 596   DOOM KNIGHT 6082      943  NOT REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Kaotic Ones -- A Tedious Trio of Rounds Remain! -- Hammer, mgr of Aauurrgh 5 Blades 
and Your Host for the Kaltos Kaos

Uh, OAB man. Yu askin' 'bout 5th prize? Shudn't yuh be askin 6th? -- Smithers

Hain't a byn' me no gal scout cookeys! Nope! -- Smithers

    Sacrilege, I say! -- Ed 

Onny fore more rounds? Jist gittn' hot! -- Smithers

5-0?! Thank 'bout that'un when ye sits inna outhouse! -- Smithers

Francine, bwahahahahaha! Sweat that one out, Babe! you looked awfully good with that 
top off! -- Lifeguard, Once Upon A Time

Consortium Rival, you are not fit to be a Consortium Rival. Take that and that and 
that ...... -- Circle-K, Once Upon A time

Umbral Uproar, how was that for a dive-bombing, you podunk!? -- Scholarship, Once Upon 
A Time

Hell Knight, thanks for the challenge you worthless flunkie! Do it again! -- Chorus 
(singing We Will, We Will, Rock You!) Once Upon A Time

Captured Orc, you make a fine dummy. -- Duplicate Bridge, Once Upon A Time

Joke Of The Day -- Sponsored By Once Upon A Time:
     Not so well off middle aged man comes driving up to his Buddy in a Mercedes.  
Buddy whistles and said "Where'd you get that?!"
     Man says  "Well you know I have been dating that cute rich gal." 
     "And yesterday driving in the country, she pulls off down this hidden lane in the 
woods. She is all excited and strips off all her expensive clothes and piles them 
nicely. And she screams, take it! Take it! Take anything you want!
     So here I am in the Mercedes!"
     His Buddy answers, "Good choice, pal. I don't think the clothes would have fit!"

To any peeps who are actually reading these ads -- Another 2-3-0 turn and it comes as 
no surprise. It has been a sad lesson to learn that it doesn't pay to recruit drunken 
bums from the skid row alleys of this accursed city. To think I actually thought they 
could be gladiators. I tried the cheap and easy method and it backfired like a wagon 
load of TNT, with a short fuse. We gave it a go and quite surprisingly, this motley 
crew has a chance for some prizes. Oops, I just jinxed the guys. Oooh, my bad. Hahaha 
-- Doom Slayer

Dr. Cox -- Look here, lovelace, who asked you to butt into the conversations inside my 
head. Besides, I have no idea what the heck you're talking about. So, go away and 
reopen your syphilis ridden clinic. Sheesh! There always seems to be a buttinski 
around, uninvited. LOL -- Doom Slayer

Looking back over the NL's for the contest, I see my team started 2-3-0 and this past 
turn went 2-3-0 and for the duration, so far, of the contest have averaged little more 
than 2 wins per turn. So, pretty consistent, I'd say. Hahaha, if I didn't laugh, I'd 
cry. Hahaha -- Doom Slayer

Hammer -- I can't remember the reason for the arena name change and looking through 
the old NL's I can't find any mention of it. Was it a contest prize or something? I'm 
just curious. Sorry to be a pest, but my eyesight and the tiny NL font don't go very 
well together. -- Doom Slayer

Khisanth -- Congrats on the AB stylemaster, you scoundrel! -- One Armed Bandit, mgr of 
Dungeon Cell

A second place prize??? Guess I'm writing personals again... -- Khisanth

Top AB award despite not understanding the scoring or the prize lol.. Management at 
its finest. -- Khisanth

Challenges incoming, all!! -- Khisanth

Street Legal -- Oh, look who peeked in his shorts and found a pair. Are you feeling 
like you finally took on the old man in a game of one-on-one and kicked his arse?  
Well, here's the newsflash there, Skeech, it was a fluke -- Dr. Cox

Fiona -- I chuckled at the not-so-subtle-pointed jab at Consortium in your parting DM 
Column! -- Hammer

Girl Scout Cookies -- Enjoy Your View from the Top! -- Hammer

One Armed Bandit -- At the present time there is no official prize for finishing fifth 
in the King of the Kaltos Kaos category! Rest assured that fifth place finishes better 
than sixth place and below! -- Hammer, mgr of Aauurrgh 5 Blades and Your Host for the 
Kaltos Kaos

Dread Knight -- Amusing Conclusion! -- Hammer

Dr Cox -- Still Enjoying Your Wit and Humor! -- Hammer

Smithers -- Conspicuous was your Absence in the P-ads last cycle! -- Hammer

Friendly Reminder for Top Ten Fighting Styles Winners -- The RSI Prize is a Favorite 
Weapon Knowledge Reveal to be applied to any one of your Turn 950 Active Warriors! 
Your Chosen Warrior Must Be Active in Arena 5 on T-950 to Qualify for the Reveal of 
His or Her Favorite Weapon! -- Hammer

Air Jordan -- Your Challenge! My Feeble Loss! Salute! -- The Bruised Shark

Dread Knight -- Your Challenge! My Frustrating Loss! Salute! -- Arena Frustrator

Bio Hacker -- Your Challenge! My Surprise Victory! Glad You Survived the Infirmary! 
Salute! -- Late For The Party

Dogecoin -- My Much-Needed Victory! The Arena Master Saved Your Hide! Salute! -- Lady 
Mandalorian

Circle-K -- Your Victory! Again! Over a Seemingly Puny Pretender! Salute! -- 
Consortium Rival

Kaotic Ones -- Three More Tedious Triplet Rounds Remain! -- Hammer, mgr of Aauurrgh 5 
Blades and Your Host for the Kaltos Kaos

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TASSELHOFF was butchered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 3 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
FANTASIA viciously subdued PICKPOCKET in a 1 minute expert's Challenge battle.
CHORUS was vanquished by HELL KNIGHT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
DRUDGE defeated SCHOLARSHIP in a crowd pleasing 2 minute veteran's Challenge fight.
DREAD KNIGHT was devastated by ALPHA BLUE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
VILE bested AIR JORDAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
DOOM KNIGHT handily defeated FARRAH in a 4 minute uneven Challenge fight.
WALKER dispatched THUMBSCREW in a action packed 1 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
DUPLICATE BRIDGE was defeated by PUPPET in a 6 minute Challenge fight.
HORRID defeated ARENA FRUSTRATOR in a exciting 3 minute Challenge match.
ARCH-VILE devastated DOGECOIN in a 2 minute brutal mismatched Challenge conflict.
DONNA subdued MAIDEN in a 2 minute novice vs. master upset Challenge brawl.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES handily defeated NOVA NIHILIST in a 1 minute uneven Title fight.
QUARTERED MASTER was overpowered by BLACK LIME in a 1 minute uneven struggle.
UMBRAL UPROAR handily defeated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute bloody mismatched bout.
ASTRAL ANARCHIST bested CIRCLE-K in a 2 minute fight.
PULSAR PANIC overpowered SCAVENGER'S DAUGHTER in a 1 minute brutal one-sided match.
THE NORTH FACE was outlasted by MOUSER in a crowd pleasing 8 minute fight.
TERRAN TWIST was viciously subdued by LATE FOR THE PARTY in a 2 minute contest.
RAINBOW BELTZ luckily beat CONSORTIUM RIVAL in a 2 minute gruesome bout.
LADY MANDALORIAN was vanquished by PAIN ELEMENTAL in a 1 minute mismatched fray.
THE BRUISED SHARK was overpowered by BIO HACKER in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
CHIMERA was vanquished by DOOMSTICK in a action packed 1 minute one-sided match.
LIFEGUARD overpowered FRANCINE in a 4 minute one-sided bout.
FELICITY won victory over MORDANT DESERTER in a 3 minute beginner's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         TOTAL PARRY       48 -  33 -  1      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   9         PARRY-RIPOSTE     16 -  12 -  1      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         WALL OF STEEL     21 -  17 -  0      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   9 -  0      55  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  22 -  2      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  18 -  1      53  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         LUNGING ATTACK    43 -  40 -  3      52  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    27 -  29 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         AIMED BLOW        33 -  36 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -  18 -  1      28  |

Turn 947 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         3  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         4 -  3     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2     
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  2     
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  GIRL SCOUT COOKIES 5997    14   8  2  153 MY BEST BUDS 3 (596)
LUNGING ATTACK   FANTASIA 6067              19   4  1  102 DR COX JD NAMES 7 (602)
SLASHING ATTACK  UMBRAL UPROAR 6007         13   9  1   87 KOSMIC KAOS (597)
AIMED BLOW       VILE 6169                  12   2  0   87 ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)
TOTAL PARRY      MOUSER 5843                 5   1  0   75 DEN OF THIEVES (210)
BASHING ATTACK   AIR JORDAN 6181             8   4  1   69 YUPPIE AF (594)
PARRY-LUNGE      QUARTERED MASTER 6014      14   8  0   68 DUNGEON CELL (553)
WALL OF STEEL    DREAD KNIGHT 6083          13   9  0   59 DOOM (601)
PARRY-STRIKE     ARENA FRUSTRATOR 6161       9   8  1   47 AAUURRGH 5 BLADES (605)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is QUARTERED MASTER 6014.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was MOUSER 5843.  The ten other most popular fighters were SCHOLARSHIP 
6077, DOOM KNIGHT 6082, DUPLICATE BRIDGE 6216, ARENA FRUSTRATOR 6161, LATE FOR THE 
PARTY 6147, FANTASIA 6067, VILE 6169, ARCH-VILE 6215, CONSORTIUM RIVAL 6154, and 
WALKER 6134.

The least popular fighter this week was FELICITY 6220.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were LIFEGUARD 6211, LADY MANDALORIAN 6090, THE NORTH FACE 6180, SCAVENGER'S 
DAUGHTER 5999, QUARTERED MASTER 6014, PUPPET 6120, THUMBSCREW 6000, FARRAH 6065, 
DREAD KNIGHT 6083, and CHORUS 6013.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

DRUDGE (5-6123) ZOMBIE SQUAD 2 (609)