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DM 033 Newsletter
DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/11/2024    Duedate: 04/24/2024

NIYTYOLE ISLAND ARENA

DM 33    TURN 985

This Week's Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

SIR REGINALD
CRUEL NIGHTS (714)
(33-10281) [33-15-0,118]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SIR REGINALD                   POSITION IS EMPTY
CRUEL NIGHTS (714)             
(33-10281) [33-15-0,118]       

Popularity Leader              This Week's Favorite

GAMAWK                         LARS
OBSIDIAN HALL (192)            NYE MAULERS (269)
(33-10247) [20-24-2,92]        (33-10662) [0-1-0,1]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE APOSTLES (133)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HEROIC VERSE (730)            55 
2. OLD HOBBITS (746)             40    ALASTARI AMIGOS! (743)
3. THE APOSTLES (133)            33    Unchartered Team
4. BRASH BROS XMAS (662)         27 
5. NYE MAULERS (269)             25    DARK MECHANICUM (751)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*DARK MECHANICUM (751)      5   3  0 62.5   1/ 4 THE APOSTLES (133)       10  3 0
 2/ 2 ALASTARI AMIGOS! (743)    27  22  2 55.1   2/ 1 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)    10  5 2
 3/ 3 THUNDERBIRDS (42)        256 213  8 54.6   3/ 2 THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)10  5 0
 4/ 4 VICIOUS DELITE (695)     482 411 24 54.0   4/ 8 HEROIC VERSE (730)        7  4 0
 5/ 5 CRUEL NIGHTS (714)       248 214 15 53.7   5/ 3 XXX BANDITS (614)         6  7 0
 6/ 6 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)      979 878 63 52.7   6/ 5 VICIOUS DELITE (695)      6  7 0
 7/ 8 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)    1290 1172 106 52.4   7/16 OLD HOBBITS (746)         6  9 1
 8/ 7 FORCE OF FIVE (690)      363 330 18 52.4   8/ 6 FORCE OF FIVE (690)       6  9 0
 9/14 OLD HOBBITS (746)         26  24  3 52.0   9/10 CARESS OF STEEL (740)     6  9 0
10/11 XXX BANDITS (614)        340 345 14 49.6  10/14*DARK MECHANICUM (751)     5  3 0
11/12 HEROIC VERSE (730)       132 134  7 49.6  11/ 9 THUNDERBIRDS (42)         5  8 0
12/13 BRASH BROS XMAS (662)    515 534 65 49.1  12/13 BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     5  8 0
13/15 THE APOSTLES (133)       317 378 26 45.6  13/12 THE ILLEARTH (265)        5 10 0
14/16 CARESS OF STEEL (740)     71  88  2 44.7  14/11 CRUEL NIGHTS (714)        4  4 1
15/17 THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)456 588 23 43.7  15/15 ALASTARI AMIGOS! (743)    3  3 0
16/18 THE ILLEARTH (265)       651 848 50 43.4  16/ 7 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       2  3 0
17-19 LADIES OF PAIN (717)      22  29  1 43.1  17/18 NYE MAULERS (269)         2  8 1
18/20 NYE MAULERS (269)        433 572 59 43.1  18-19*MELANCHOLIC BLISS (750)   0  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-21*MELANCHOLIC BLISS (750)    0   2  0  0.0  19-20 LADIES OF PAIN (717)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Cookie slowly woke up, rubbing his temples trying to get his thoughts together. The 
headache was thundering between his ears making even his vision a struggle. The 
memories of last night were like quick flashes of a broken story stopping for only a 
quick visit in his head. If he focused really hard on an image, he could almost hear 
the sounds of the memory playing along, bringing back a glimpse of what happened. He 
was home, at least that meant something, he had enough wits about him to make it back 
to his rented room. The room was not much, it was once the stall where they kept the 
crippled goats until slaughter, but the owners added a door and swept out most of the 
hay and droppings. Cookie didn't mind, he just needed a bed, even a straw bed was good 
enough for him. Having finally accepted his position in life this small space was 
where he felt safe, it was his for only two coppers each day. Sometimes the coppers 
came easy, sometimes they were tough, but he always paid, and his straw bed always 
welcomed him.

He sat up, forcing his eyes open and blinking back against the light of day, even in 
his poorly lit space. With a start he jammed a hand into his pocket and pulled out a 
few coins, relief swelling inside of him once he realized that he still had the 
ability to pay for today's room rent. Last night's fun certainly took its toll on his 
coin purse though, at least half were no longer there. Cookie enjoyed many bad habits, 
the bottle being just one and last night that habit was happy to be embraced. He had 
performed many stupid actions after a few bottles, but this time he was flummoxed, 
somehow in all the fun last night he found himself home alone with a sword training 
device (STD). He struggled to remember how he had gotten it, but the memory kept 
getting away from him.

As he shook his head an image flashed, he remembered walking over to the table where 
The Consodomite was sitting. As he approached the table, he noted the paperwork that 
was spread across the space, lovely images of children at play. Several had notes 
written into the margins that looked like a sequence of events. Cookie remembered how 
lovingly The Consodomite handled the documents, how softly his hands would play over 
the images, the needy look in his eyes and the steady stream of drool at the corner of 
his mouth. He remembered how quickly The Consodomite bundled his documents together 
and put them away when he realized Cookie was there. Instead, replacing them with a 
set of awards that appeared to have been homemade. He began to remember the 
conversation they had...

"Hey check these out Cookie, these are my awards for getting warriors to the Isle of 
the Eye." The Consodomite boasted. Cookie looked at the awards realizing they were 
handmade and not official at all. Picking one up, he asked "What is this award for?" 
The light shined bright in The Consodomite's eyes, "Oh, this one is wonderful, this is 
for my Striker that received an invite after fighting only 21 fights, 16 of them 
against arena stand-ins. Sometimes people try to challenge my warriors, but then I 
don't fight them and that removes the threat. Also, I rarely tell anyone that a team 
is mine so I don't have to worry about grudge challenges. You should come over to my 
house and see all the statues I have made of myself. I love myself." Cookie realized 
that he would just keep talking about himself if he stayed there, so he stumbled away.

After thinking about that conversation he realized that there was no way The 
Consodomite would have given him a sword training device, the man is so in love with 
himself that he would not share anything. Squeezing his eyes tight he thought harder 
about the evening and then remembered seeing Doc Squeal hiding in the corner, 
surrounded by a wall of paper boxes. Cookie slowly put the next few minutes together 
in his head...

"Doc Squeal, I just have to know, do they call you that because you like to squeal or 
because you want to make me squeal?" asked Cookie as he approached. Doc Squeal quickly 
flipped a few documents over and said, "If you think these were my strategies, you are 
mistaken, they are someone else's so it doesn't matter if you looked at them or not." 
Cookie was puzzled because he didn't use much strategy, most of his warriors were just 
bricks, they stood there and soaked up damage. They exchanged a few words but Cookie 
found Doc Squeal to be about as interesting as reading instructions for sandpaper. He 
started to question his obsession with the man, but trying to control your urges and 
feelings was folly. Cookie kept trying to talk to him, but eventually Doc Squeal just 
kept piling boxes up until it was hard to talk through them.

Cookie shook his head; it was doubtful that Doc Squeal gave him a sword training 
device. He wondered, he usually found his partner Cluripus and finished the evening 
with him. Their game of "Buns Up" was always a nice way to spend time, but never had 
he ever woke up with a sword training device after playing buns up with his partner. 
This was a new development and he was not sure he was going to figure out where he got 
the sword training device. If he couldn't figure this out, how was he ever going to 
figure out where he also got the halberd extraction remover parry expert simulator 
(HERPES).

                                          -- From the desk of Den and the Allied Axis

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Alecto, our match was destiny as it propelled me into the torchlight. Some would say 
"spotlight", but I have no idea what a spotlight is, it seems we are a couple of 
thousand years away from having spotlights and when we do, my sword will be rusted and 
probably hard to sharpen, if you know what I mean. Obviously, Sir Reginald knew better 
than to fight, I would have hit him so hard that when he woke up, even little stick 
might have found employment.

My brother, the Hero of Niytyole, snuck out of here just ahead of me. He wanted me to 
share his measurements with you, he was 12(1)-12(3)-7-17(1)-15(1)-16-11 and pretty 
normal across the board, favors the shortsword and loved a very high offensive 
combined with a moderate activity, lazy as he was. Turns out he was blessed with three 
ripostes and three decisiveness. He killed three times, adding to the already famed 
kill count of the Allied Axis. My physicals are a little more impressive, 17-5-4-21-
15-11-11 and I prefer using the longsword to gut my opponent. When I step onto the 
sands I prefer to be highly offensive with a very low activity level, why move around 
when they can come to you, right? I am blessed with four initiative routines and three 
defensive routines. Not to brag, but I leave with an advanced master initiative and 
master in attack, with ratings in everything other than parry, because realistically, 
when I am hacking you to death there is no reason to focus on a parry. Den tells me 
that I may get some additional fights on the Isle as my fighting style is helping to 
add losses to Doc Squeal's aimed blows and lungers. Our war with him is epic and our 
victories many.

Den was hitting the bottle again last week and does not remember who he challenged for 
me. Thought maybe Bad Voodoo to keep the throne where it belongs, which means I will 
be standing motionless with a wooden sword. Anyway, it was fitting that I sit the 
throne at least once before I became immortal, after all, I am the PRIDE of NIYTYOLE. 
I will represent you well at the Isle, your pride is certainly not misdirected. My 
thanks to my hundreds of fans, you meant a lot to me on my incredible journey, and 
remember kiddies, we did this together.

                                          For eternity, your Duelmaster of Niytyole,

                                          Price of Niytyole

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
NIYTYOLE ISLAND.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got 
paid!  Say good-bye to BIG LAKE BANDITS, as they are pushed from the coveted top team 
spot by the THE APOSTLES stable.  A stormcloud is brewing over the OBSIDIAN HALL 
guildhouse.  Rumor says any more weeks like this ones 2-3-0 may send the team to the 
Dark Arena.  Coming up with a solid 4-1-0 outing, OLD HOBBITS has advanced 9 places 
in the rankings.  Advancing in the rankings was THE APOSTLES who went from last 
turn's 313-378-26, to this week's record of 317-378-26.  Hey everybody, watch out for 
XEXEX SICARIUS, who flew up 21 points in the rankings after mashing SHIDE like a 
melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  Well here's a duelmaster that doesn't sit back 
and say 'Challenge me'!  PRIDE OF NIYTYOLE made a Dark Arena Challenge against 
SHEWISH GIANT this week.  The crowds were amazed this turn, as SHEWISH GIANT killed 
the Duelmaster, PRIDE OF NIYTYOLE, leaving BIG LAKE BANDITS in mourning.  This 
incredible death has allowed, I might add, SIR REGINALD from CRUEL NIGHTS to ascend 
to the throne of Duelmaster, and I hear DARK ARENA is not happy.  Advice to 
bashers--never force anything, just get a bigger halberd!   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Did you hear that VICIOUS DELITE was most 
avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal hygiene of VICIOUS DELITE's 
warriors, I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch BRASH BROS XMAS' 
act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from VICIOUS 
DELITE.  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, WALKURE would be president.  
Although it may be a contest she doesn't want to win.  LADY STEEL of CRUEL NIGHTS had 
better have a good reason for challenging down 15 points in a challenge which she 
lost.  I thought LADY STEEL showed great skill and promise when she was bested by 
MIGHTY MELODY.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Remember that an arena is not always a safe place to be, but it is one of the 
most interesting, though!  Yesterday I talked to the VICIOUS DELITE's manager and 
MIGHTY MELODY, slayer of THE PROVOCATEUR.  The manager:  'I think I can, I think I 
can'.  MIGHTY MELODY:  'I already did'.  BRASH BROS XMAS has one more week to get 
their bloodfeud off.  I talked to the manager, but he could only grunt 'GLITTER 
who?'.  Ya gotta luv em!  In the 'Oops, What Have I Done?' category, BAD VOODOO was 
mashed by PUNCHY PROLOGUE, who let BAD VOODOO know that killing members of HEROIC 
VERSE is a no-no.  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  
Silly buggers, eh?   
     I think I had better cut this one short.  It's been nice chatting to those of 
you whom I have not offended yet.  Okay, so I may not be the world's best comedian, 
but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  See ya next time I'm on this 
circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIR REGINALD 10281        TP 33  15  0 118         CRUEL NIGHTS (714)        

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CARMEN 10498              PL 10   3  0 112         ALASTARI AMIGOS! (743)    
 LORD URSURPER 10462       LU 13   4  3 102         CRUEL NIGHTS (714)        
 PUNCHY PROLOGUE 10403     PL 12   9  0 101         HEROIC VERSE (730)        
 THE JESUIT 10036          ST 10   3  0  94         THE APOSTLES (133)        
 GAMAWK 10247              PS 20  24  2  92         OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       
 MIGHTY MELODY 10453       WS 10   7  2  92         HEROIC VERSE (730)        

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BAD VOODOO 10221          BA 17  10  2  88         XXX BANDITS (614)         
 TYLER'S BROTHER 10358     ST 15  17  0  83         THUNDERBIRDS (42)         
 WALKURE 10466             ST 12  11  1  82         CARESS OF STEEL (740)     
 LADY STEEL 10438          LU 15  11  0  81         CRUEL NIGHTS (714)        
 ALECTO 10388              WS 16  20  0  72         THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674) 
 DAHN TUCKER 10524         WS 13   5  0  72         BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)     
 HAND OF DARKNESS 10490    LU 10   9  0  68         THUNDERBIRDS (42)         

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SKEPTIC 9896          WS 10   4  0  66         THE APOSTLES (133)        

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BABA YAGA 10566           WS  8   3  0  61         THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674) 
 THE LAST LAUGH 10538      LU  9   4  0  59         VICIOUS DELITE (695)      
-KELMORA 9749              AB  7   4  1  58         LADIES OF PAIN (717)      
 MORK 10507                LU  7   0  0  58         THE APOSTLES (133)        
 BLEEP DARKFART SAYS  10611 PL  6   0  1  58         BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)                   *

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHIDE 10395               BA 11  21  0  54         CARESS OF STEEL (740)     
 THE DOMINUS 10539         ST  9   4  0  54         VICIOUS DELITE (695)      
 XEXEX SICARIUS 10553      ST  4   2  0  54         OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       
 THE RYCHE 10525           WS  7   8  0  52         VICIOUS DELITE (695)      
 ALVAREZ 10451             SL 12  14  0  51         CARESS OF STEEL (740)     
 TITHER 10094              PL  5   5  0  50         THE APOSTLES (133)        
 GROTT IT FOR XMAS 10463   ST  8  13  0  49         BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     
 LUCKY 10496               AB  7   8  1  49         ALASTARI AMIGOS! (743)    
 NECROMANCER 10468         AB 12  11  1  48         CARESS OF STEEL (740)     
 ODO MUGWORT 10580         ST  4   2  2  45         OLD HOBBITS (746)         
 CORPSE GRINDER 10575      ST  5   5  1  44         THE ILLEARTH (265)        
 ROCINANTE 10467           TP 10  13  0  43         CARESS OF STEEL (740)     
 YURALA REDMANE 10552      TP  7   2  0  43         OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       
 ARTHAS 10413              ST  9  10  1  42         FORCE OF FIVE (690)       
 CHO GALL 10432            ST  8  11  1  42         FORCE OF FIVE (690)       
 HAAGRYD WARGRYM 10527     WS  7   4  0  37         OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       
 SAMURO 10414              ST  6  13  0  35         FORCE OF FIVE (690)       
 YAH ASSUR 10584           ST  4   5  0  34         THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)                *

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SMEAGOL 10544             PL  7   3  1  33         OLD HOBBITS (746)         
 GOLLUM 10542              AB  6   4  0  33         OLD HOBBITS (746)         
 NASTY HABIT 10564         AB  4   8  1  33         BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)     
 DUMB DILLY 10579          TP  6   4  0  31         THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674) 
 MAIDEN FIONA 10555        TP  7   4  0  27         CRUEL NIGHTS (714)        
 PORTO CHUBB 10543         SL  3   7  0  27         OLD HOBBITS (746)         
 BALI-RAJ 10594            WS  5   3  0  26         THE DEMONIC PICKLES (674)                *
 SHORT LEISCH 10632        TP  3   0  0  26         BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)     
 METAL METAPHOR 10526      WS  2   5  1  26         HEROIC VERSE (730)        
 RINGWORM 10492            PL  5   9  0  24         THUNDERBIRDS (42)         

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 REXXAR 10600              BA  4   4  0  21         FORCE OF FIVE (690)       
 BONE HELM 10609           PL  4   1  0  20         XXX BANDITS (614)                        *
 FRIGHTFUL WEATHER 10610   ST  1   5  0  20         BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     
 HOLLY HATCHET 10649       AB  1   0  1  19         NYE MAULERS (269)         
 DEN'S SWEATER 10630       ST  1   2  0  18         BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     
 INDYGO BLACKROSE 10582    PR  3   2  0  17         OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       
 THE ROOSTER 10634         ST  2   1  0  16         VICIOUS DELITE (695)      
 TREE NEEDLES 10606        LU  2   5  0  15         BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     
 LEAPING LIMERICK 10599    LU  2   4  0  14         HEROIC VERSE (730)        
 CYKUM 10624               SL  2   0  0  14         DARK MECHANICUM (751)     
 MF-442 10627              TP  1   0  0  14         DARK MECHANICUM (751)     
 ELF ON SHELF 10572        BA  3   3  1  13         BRASH BROS XMAS (662)     
 SUN RISE 10232            SL  2   3  0  13         XXX BANDITS (614)                        *
 JERT 10628                    1   1  0  12         DARK MECHANICUM (751)                    [AB-ST]
 WICKED 10617              PL  1   3  0  10         XXX BANDITS (614)         
 RUINOUS REFRAIN 10635         1   0  0  10         HEROIC VERSE (730)                       [AB-PR-SL-ST-TP-WS]
 STITCHES 10613            WS  2   3  0   9         FORCE OF FIVE (690)       
 PASSIVE-MITS 10615        LU  1   4  0   9         THE ILLEARTH (265)        
 AATAMI 10623                  1   3  0   9         THE ILLEARTH (265)                       [PL-ST-TP]
 KOTHRINGI 10660               1   0  0   5         THE ILLEARTH (265)                       [AB-PR-SL-ST-TP-WS]
 KU-847 10626                  0   1  0   5         DARK MECHANICUM (751)                    [PL-PR-SL-ST-TP-WS]
 GRANNY'S BOY 10661        TP  1   0  0   3         NYE MAULERS (269)         
 LARS 10662                    0   1  0   1         NYE MAULERS (269)                        [PL-PR-SL-ST-TP-WS]
 SQUIRE PHLEGM 10653           0   1  0   1         CRUEL NIGHTS (714)                       [PL-PR-SL-ST-TP-WS]

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KHAJIIT 10659             PR  0   1  0   1         THE ILLEARTH (265)        
 SOCK SNATCHER 10619       ST  0   1  0   1         NYE MAULERS (269)         
 SMITHERZ 10620            ST  0   1  0   1         NYE MAULERS (269)         

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
VETERAN MERCENAR        0  0 0                      LORD URSURPER 10462    985 NONE
PRIDE OF NIYTYO 10454  16 10 3 BIG LAKE BANDITS 71  SHEWISH GIANT          985 NONE
GLITTER 10605           3  1 0 BRASH BROS XMAS 662  CORPSE GRINDER 10575   982  
JI SONER 10625          1  1 0 DARK MECHANICUM 751  HOLLY HATCHET 10649    985  
POWERFUL LYRIC 10608    1  1 1 HEROIC VERSE 730     BAD VOODOO 10221       982 JUST REVENGED
BELLADONNA TOOK 10545   3  7 0 OLD HOBBITS 746      BANDIT PRINCE          985 NONE
CRIPPLED CROW 10480     4  9 0 THUNDERBIRDS 42      NASTY HABIT 10564      983 JUST REVENGED
DEAD BIRD 29 10663      0  1 0 THUNDERBIRDS 42      BLACK ORC              985 NONE
THE DARK SIDE 10601     2  3 0 VICIOUS DELITE 695   BLEEP DARKFART  10611  983  
THE PROVOCATEUR 10531   8  4 0 VICIOUS DELITE 695   MIGHTY MELODY 10453    982  

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Bookie, have at 'em. Missy Den and Co. need a spanking. (Or worse.) -- The Consortium 
Elders

Girlie Den, pray. (If you have any idea what that means.) -- A Consortium Fellow

Philthy -- Ah yes, the old Stone Golem for your exiting DA fight.  Seems we always get 
that bugger when we want a cheap kill.  But, being the first alliance to kill him, I 
guess we have a better chance than any other of getting the job done. -- Den

Dark Mechanicum -- Honestly, I would just turn the lights on.  Seems like a simple 
solution to me. -- Den, manager of the Big Lake Bandits and High Priest of the mighty 
Allied Axis

Ladies of Pain -- It seems you only fight once a month, for about a week.  I think I 
have you figured out. -- Den

little stick -- Bloodfeuds not working out very well for you, huh?  If you need blood, 
talk with the Ladies of Pain when they show up, I think they have a bunch. -- Den

Chad -- My kills are still the trump card on Current Top Team, but great to see the 
top four being held by our group.  Keep going. -- Den

Deeders -- Look at you, finally fighting again and already posting impressive results 
in the Three Turn rankings.  Our skill is simply a matter of wonder for all. -- Den

Bashturd -- I have to admit, our Eggos are pretty damn big.  Usually on Thursday our 
kitchen staff will prepare the Eggos to our liking, large and sloppy, the same way you 
prefer your women.  Speaking of kitchen staff, we did receive your resume, but we are 
fully staffed in the kitchen right now. When something opens up, we will reach out to 
you, don't bother calling on us, we will contact you. -- Den

Vladgina -- Well, it's not like any of these dunderheads knew what I meant anyway, the 
correct spelling would not have made a difference.  Now, go and practice sitting in 
your chair some more in case your tourney goes better than it should. -- Den

Thunderturds -- Hmm, seems like you snuck one past me, sending Tyler's freaky brother 
after my Nasty Habit.  No worries, we learned something about you, and providing the 
Arenamaster actually gets the updated strategy before the fights happen, you will 
suffer defeat.  Do you know where you can find defeat?  They're attached to de'ankles. 
-- Den

Tyler's Brother -- I don't like you or your brother.  You should be a better skill 
trainer though, so at least you would be good at something. -- Nasty Habit

The Ryche -- Ouch!  That must have hurt in more places than one.  Just because I'm 
chatty does not mean I don't know how to hit. -- Bleep Darkfart Says

Carmen -- We're going to try that one more time.  This time, get out of my way! -- 
Dahn Tucker

Porto Chubb -- There was nothing lucky about that win, I owned you all the way through 
the fight. -- Short Leisch

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PRIDE OF NIYTYOLE was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
BELLADONNA TOOK was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
DEAD BIRD 29 was assassinated by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
TYLER'S BROTHER devastated NASTY HABIT in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud contest.
PUNCHY PROLOGUE narrowly defeated BAD VOODOO in a 4 minute master's Bloodfeud match.
GAMAWK was overpowered by CARMEN in a 2 minute bloody one-sided Challenge struggle.
HAND OF DARKNESS was handily defeated by THE JESUIT in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
ALECTO was viciously subdued by WALKURE in a 3 minute gory expert's Challenge duel.
LADY STEEL lost to MIGHTY MELODY in a popular 3 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
BLEEP DARKFART SAYS unbelievably bested GROTT IT FOR XMAS in a 1 minute bout.
HAAGRYD WARGRYM was subdued by TITHER in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
CHO GALL slimly won victory over MAIDEN FIONA in a 11 minute Challenge battle.
CORPSE GRINDER savagely defeated SAMURO in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
ARTHAS was viciously subdued by ALVAREZ in a 1 minute master's Challenge bout.
YURALA REDMANE beat YAH ASSUR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge brawl.
LUCKY was bested by BABA YAGA in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
ODO MUGWORT savagely defeated DUMB DILLY in a exciting 2 minute Challenge match.
GOLLUM overpowered RINGWORM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
LEAPING LIMERICK was devastated by DEN'S SWEATER in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
SHORT LEISCH won victory over THE ROOSTER in a 2 minute novice's Challenge match.
STITCHES was overcome by TREE NEEDLES in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
SIR REGINALD outwaited CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 15 minute one-sided Title contest.
LORD URSURPER assassinated VETERAN MERCENARY in a 1 minute brutal uneven fight.
DAHN TUCKER was savagely defeated by VETERAN MERCENARY in a 2 minute gory duel.
THE LAST LAUGH was narrowly defeated by THE SKEPTIC in a 3 minute expert's match.
SHIDE was handily defeated by XEXEX SICARIUS in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ROCINANTE was savagely defeated by THE RYCHE in a action packed 5 minute competition.
NECROMANCER was defeated by MORK in a 1 minute fight.
THE DOMINUS vanquished AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
SMEAGOL beat WICKED in a 2 minute match.
PORTO CHUBB overpowered METAL METAPHOR in a exciting 1 minute gory one-sided fight.
ELF ON SHELF was unbelievably bested by REXXAR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
SUN RISE was vanquished by FRIGHTFUL WEATHER in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
INDYGO BLACKROSE was narrowly defeated by BALI-RAJ in a 8 minute bloody match.
BONE HELM savagely defeated AATAMI in a 2 minute gory fray.
PASSIVE-MITS narrowly defeated SQUIRE PHLEGM in a 2 minute brutal amateur's match.
CYKUM won victory over KHAJIIT in a action packed 1 minute novice's bout.
JI SONER was executed by HOLLY HATCHET in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
JERT handily defeated SOCK SNATCHER in a popular 1 minute one-sided duel.
MF-442 subdued EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 3 minute duel.
KU-847 was outwaited by GRANNY'S BOY in a unpopular 7 minute novice's struggle.
RUINOUS REFRAIN vanquished SMITHERZ in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
KOTHRINGI unbelievably bested LARS in a action packed 8 minute bloody amateur's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 21         TOTAL PARRY       35 -  21 -  0      63  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   3 -  1      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     10         PARRY-LUNGE       32 -  27 -  2      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      9         WALL OF STEEL     53 -  45 -  2      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         SLASHING ATTACK   25 -  23 -  3      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    44 -  44 -  3      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         AIMED BLOW        30 -  38 -  3      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     11 -  14 -  0      44  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         STRIKING ATTACK   69 -  88 -  5      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK    23 -  34 -  4      40  |

Turn 985 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  3     WALL OF STEEL      5 -  6         3  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  2     AIMED BLOW         2 -  3         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        6 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK   11 - 10     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      SIR REGINALD 10281         33  15  0  118 CRUEL NIGHTS (714)
PARRY-LUNGE      CARMEN 10498               10   3  0  112 ALASTARI AMIGOS! (743)
LUNGING ATTACK   LORD URSURPER 10462        13   4  3  102 CRUEL NIGHTS (714)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE JESUIT 10036           10   3  0   94 THE APOSTLES (133)
WALL OF STEEL    MIGHTY MELODY 10453        10   7  2   92 HEROIC VERSE (730)
BASHING ATTACK   BAD VOODOO 10221           17  10  2   88 XXX BANDITS (614)
AIMED BLOW       NECROMANCER 10468          12  11  1   48 CARESS OF STEEL (740)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is GAMAWK 10247.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LARS 10662.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE LAST LAUGH 10538, THE 
RYCHE 10525, PUNCHY PROLOGUE 10403, LADY STEEL 10438, BAD VOODOO 10221, TITHER 10094, 
ODO MUGWORT 10580, CARMEN 10498, CORPSE GRINDER 10575, and ALVAREZ 10451.

The least popular fighter this week was SIR REGINALD 10281.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CHO GALL 10432, MAIDEN FIONA 10555, GRANNY'S BOY 10661, KU-847 
10626, MF-442 10627, KOTHRINGI 10660, SMITHERZ 10620, SOCK SNATCHER 10619, JI SONER 
10625, and AATAMI 10623.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

PRIDE OF NIYTYOLE (33-10454) BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)